Isn't there a magic pill?

I know it's not nice to say that I hate something, but there are just no other words to describe how I feel about diets.  I mean, it's the worst of hate- it's more like abhor, detest, despise, all of the above.  For some reason, I decided in August to document my weightloss on this blog.  I did it to hold myself accountable and if I can find a sane moment, I do agree that that was probably a smart thing to do.  But, I need help friends!  Thankfully, I have somehow still managed to maintain my 20 pound weightloss within two or three pounds, depending on the day.  However, the discipline and self-control I had before Christmas must have left with Santa on his sleigh because it is G-O-N-E! 

Christmas time is just hard for everyone, but especially for me since I was on a diet that I could only eat certain foods.  It was either don't eat at all, or eat what was served.  Whether it be school luncheons, parties, or a family Christmas meal, 99% of the time they didn't consist of foods that were allowed on my diet.  So, I told myself that I would treat myself a little bit since it was the holidays.  Now, it's just so hard to get back on the wagon.  I do so well throughout the day and only eat crap healthy stuff, but then at night I get all out of whack.  For example, this week Paige cooked dinner one night.  It was DELICIOUS, but not something I was supposed to have.  I could have sat at the table and watched everyone else eat, or do what I did and eat what she cooked.  This morning- plus two pounds.  And I only had one average sized serving!  (Paige, don't tell anyone about the rice crispie treat you forced me to eat, okay?)

Enough of the venting....bottom line- I need help!  How do I regain my momentum and lose the rest of the weight that I want to lose?  I was doing the right thing.  I think this diet is exactly right for me.  It helps maintain my blood sugar and my hypoglycemia, and it forces me to eat healthy foods.  (Insert me closing my eyes and taking a deep breath here.......................)  Okay, I'm going to do it.  I need to say all that to start again.  No more cheating.  From now on, if I have to sit around the table and watch other people eat, then so be it.  It won't taste as good as the way I'll feel when I look like I want to.  Prayers, PLEASE!

P.S.  If you're one of those girls that eats candy bars every day while I eat my Zone bars or drinks large McDonald's sweet teas when I help Splenda secure their great great great grandchildren's future- don't speak to me at all.