He Spoke to Me

Some of you will read this post and immediately think it sounds hokey or unrealistic, uncharactistic, etc.  You are free to believe what you want, but what I experienced was real, and I am convinced it was straight from my God.

Those that know me find it no secret that I'm a worrier.  I worry about many things, but most of which is myself.  I don't mean that in a selfish or narcissistic way.  I mean that at times the worry and fear I experience regarding my health can be consuming.  Some would say I'm a hypochondriac.  I admit it, I am.  I will say it has gotten better as I have chosen to allow God into my struggle and invite Him to fight this battle with me.  I have decided that I must depend on him to speak to me through His Holy Spirit and show me what needs to be given attention and what needs to be dismissed.  That has and will always be my greatest weapon.  Thankfully, my bouts of hypochondria are becoming fewer and farther between.  It still rears its ugly head, but not as often. 

There was a time a few months back when I couldn't shake the worry.  I didn't believe God was telling me I was unhealthy or needed to seek medical attention, I just believed Satan wouldn't leave me alone and was revelling in the fact he was consistently stealing my joy.  I fought as hard as I could and do what I typically do when I search for peace....call my closest friends and family.  "Mom, I'm feeling this way.  Do you think it's okay?"  Friend #1- "Have you ever felt this? Is it okay?" Friend #2, 3, and so on.  Many times, all I need to let it go is for someone to tell me it's okay.  This particular time, the fear kept coming back.  I was in the car alone so I decided to pray.  I prayed again.  And I begged God for a sign.  I realize He doesn't always answer prayers by sending us a visual representation of His presence, but knowing He could do anything...I asked anyway.  I needed to know, and I quote, "everything was okay."  I promise, no longer than I completed my earnest prayer, I looked up and in front of me was a car with a license plate similar to this....

Unbelievable?  Almost, but not in regards to the God I know.  That was all I needed.  And I praised Him.

There have been times when I've worried since then. They usually subside after countless friends and family members tell me I'm crazy and shouldn't think another second about it.  Until last week...... I felt the fear beginning to overwhelm me again.  I won't go into detail as to what specific ailment I feared I had, but it was a scary one.  I used every tactic I knew to escape the fear, and even realized I had Satan to thank for the power it seemed to have over me.  I prayed.  I prayed more.  I do as I typically do and picked up my phone to start the "YOU'RE OKAY" phone tree.  But I stopped.   I realized that if I'm pleading with God for peace and assurance, what does that say to Him when I search for it from someone else.  I put my phone down and committed myself to wait on Him.

I woke up the next morning and was still plagued by worry.  I couldn't get it off my mind and was terrified of going to work consumed with fear and doubt.  I've spent too many days that way and the feeling it gives me makes me physically ill.  I prayed again.  I needed a sign.  I felt bad for asking but knew the way I felt would only be healed by confirmation from my Father.  I needed to know I was "ok."  I listened while I was getting ready for school for any word on the television that would be sent from God.  I hoped the OK produce truck would be visible at school when I arrived-anything to allow me to let go of my worry. 

He did it again, friends. I walked out of my house to get into my car.  I had noticed days prior that some sort of construction was going on in the culdesac on my street. I had noticed spray paint on the pavement but couldn't have recalled what it was.  I looked down to open my car door and saw this....

Amazed?  Me too.  Should I be?  Of course not.  He is present and HE HEARS US!  Peace doesn't even begin to describe what I felt after seeing this.  My father cared enough about me to send me this message- not one "ok"...but two.  I felt a sense of relief that I haven't felt in a long time, not only about my health, but my life in general.  He told me He hears me, which I always knew but am eternally grateful to be reminded of.  I am more in love with Him than I ever have been. 

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples!  Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works!

—Psalm 105:1-2