Alright, I've been thinking about this a good bit lately. After reading The Shack, which I strongly urge everyone to do, my thoughts have somewhat changed and I am now questioning how I really feel about the following.
I used to think that every single thing in life happened for a reason. I believed that God had a purpose behind every decision, every action, every word. I thought that His plan for me, for us, was very specific and that as long as we stayed close to Him, He worked through us to carry out His will...a very specific will. I still believe this to a certain extent. However, I'm now thinking more about our own free will and our ability to choose. I definitely still think God is in ultimate control and can use any situation for His own purpose. But, I'm wondering if His plan for us is way more broad than I once thought it was. I don't know anymore if every single thing happens for a reason. I don't know if every decision I make is the one God wants me to. I believe that many times, God says that He'll bless us either way if we follow Him. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle here.
Honestly, I want to believe that God is in control of every little aspect of my life. I want to believe that He won't allow me to make the wrong choice or mess things up. I just don't think that's the case, though. Wouldn't we be like robots if life were like that? I think God trusts us to make our own choices and although He knows which ones he wants us to make, we may not always. A part in The Shack that I love says, "...Your choices are also not stronger than my purposes, and I will use every choice you make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome." I LOVE that statement.
Bottom line- I'm just scared for God to give me too much responsibility. I'm scared that I won't do something I'm supposed to do to carry out that plan He has for me. Or, I'm scared that I will do something to keep myself from living the plan He has for me. I know He is perfect, He loves me, and He is in control. I guess I just doubt myself.
I hope this makes at least a little bit of sense. I was reluctant to even write on this because things seem so jumbled up in my head. While I'm somewhat confused about this issue, one thing I know for sure is that God is faithful and He will never, ever leave us! I find so much comfort in that, especially lately.
10 comments:
I think you said it beautifully! I have been wanting to post something like this for a while now, however I just keep jumbling it up in my head! Thanks for writing it down. I struggle with free will, God's will, God's will for my specific life, my ability to be apart of God's will.... its a lot to grasp. I will indeed pick up the book!!
Well, you've given me a lot to think about! I know I've got to read that book! Are you loaning yours out?? :o)
If God took FULL control of our lives...would it be our lives? I feel if God had FULL control, then why wouldn't we all go to Heaven...why would HE choose for some to fall away? So obviously, he gives us free choice.
I agree 100%. My intention was not to imply that I thought God left us with no opporuntity to make our own choices. If that were the case, you're right. We would all be in heaven and never make mistakes. I just wonder which things/events/circumstances He (as long as we're one with Him) leads us to and which things He says could go either way. I was afraid of being misunderstood when I wrote this. I hope that makes more sense.
hi amy! so...i found your blog through anna's...and had to comment on this one. :) your questions remind me of some i had when trying to figure out where God wanted me to go after Auburn (boy was that a sad day!). i had 2options that were both really good (and would lead me down totally different life tracks)...but i had no idea which one God wanted me to follow. a wise friend taught me that with a prayerful heart...God could use either one to bring glory to Him. it was scary to choose one (b/c what if i chose the wrong one??)...but i am confident that God could have worked in the other choice...and is using me just how He wants to now. don't know if that fits in exactly with what you're talking about...but the "God's will" topic is soooo interesting!
wow. that was too long.
ps...the Shack is sooo good!
I personally think it all goes back to your favorite line of the shack that says,"...Your choices are also not stronger than my purposes, and I will use every choice you make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome." We make bad choices every day, and that's just a part of being human. We're not perfect and God doesn't expect us to be. However, I do believe that God's will always prevails, and there's not a choice or a decision or a road that we go down that He can't turn for good if we let Him.
YES, we choose! Look at the spiritual battle between God and Satan over Job's choices. God allowed Satan to have his way with Job to show satan this man would still choose the Lord.
Plus, I have seen God bring glory to terrible choices. Assuming you would not deliberately choose poorly. Although i have seen deliverance from those dumb, deliberate choices too. His purpose for us can be traveled towards thru many directions. Some routes just may take longer.
i just remembered the time years ago that you, Amy told me that you believed some choices were neither right or wrong. i can see God just smiling patiently while we contemplate outcomes when he's thinking and probably urging us to just come on, either way will get you there.
I think His plans for us have to be broad because His purposes are pretty broad. He doesn't NEED us, he wants us. and He wants us to be alive with Him. That's so general to me. I can see times when He has called me to specifics but mostly i just know all my choices must generate to what He would want me to do out of love.
So interesting that I read your post yesterday and then today was reading from Acts in the Message. This jumped out at me and I had to share it. Acts 3:17-18 from the Message: "And now friends, I know you had no idea what you were doing when you killed Jesus, and neither did you leaders. But God, who through the preaching of all the prophets had said all along that his Messiah would be killed, knew exactly what you were doing and used it to fulfill his plans."
Great Post!
I'm in the middle of it now. its a lot to digest fo sho. praying for you!
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