That Went Well.....

Yeah, so that diet post just below...that worked out great, didn't it!?  Oh my stars.  I'm still trying friends.  It's an every.single.day. thing.  I have been getting up three days a week at 5:45 in the morning to walk since August 1.  I'm trying to make exercise a priority, even though I'd rather eat dirt than do it.  I'm still struggling, but I will never quit trying.  Keep those prayers coming.

In other news, school has started back.  I've never been so exhausted in my life!  The first two weeks were brutal, but my body is finally getting used to the new schedule and new routine.  I love my job, so it makes it a little easier to get up in the mornings.

Nothing much else going on in my world these days.  I'm going to the American Idol Concert this weekend.  Some friends and I make the trip every year, so it's a tradition.  I'm looking forward to it. But more than that, I'm looking forward to Labor Day...and the absence of any sort of labor I plan to do on that day.  Cue the hallelujah chorus.

Hope you all are well.  :)

Weight Loss Wednesday

Thanks to those of you that commented on my last post.  While not as many as I'd like to keep me accountable, I have to do this for myself regardless.  I haven't done as well as I'd like.  I haven't done nearly as well as I'd like.  I have only been home two days in the last week and as I said before, that throws me off severely.  I'm excited about a new week.  It WILL be better.

This week I lost: 2 pounds (exactly)

Total weight loss: 2 pounds

I'll take it.  It's better than nothing.

Here I Go Again...

I'm embarrassed to say that I have failed at yet another diet.  In the winter/spring, I was fairly successful at eating clean and counting calories.  I lost about 15 pounds and was feeling good.  But then life happened.  School was out for the summer, and I completely lost control and ruined the progress I had worked so hard to make.  I've learned that when I'm home and on a routine, I do fairly well.  But when I deviate from that, it goes downhill fast.  For example, I was at Impact for almost a week this summer.  I lived in a hotel room without a fridge, so everything I ate was fast food or junk they provided in the cafeteria on campus at Lipscomb.  Also, when my sister and family come to town, I stay at my mom's with them...and she makes cakes, cookies, huge meals, etc etc etc.  It's.too.hard.  But the fact is, that's life.  I will never live in a world where everyone around me is dieting and refuses to eat things that tempt me.  I need to learn to deal with reality and avoid the temptation.  I need to stop using food to fill voids in my life.  It doesn't work- in so many ways.  I'm sick of feeling unable to be my true self and being held back by my appearance.  I'm tired of Satan using it against me and making me feel unworthy.  I'm tired of buying into those lies.  I have to try (for the millionth time) to fix it.

Sooooooo, my idea is this:  I'm beginning Weight Loss Wednesdays.  Each Wednesday, I'm going to weigh in and reveal on my blog the results of the prior week in my effort to lose weight.  I will tell how much I lose or how much I gain.  I promise to be 100% truthful, good or bad.  I just simply need the accountability.  I need to know that people are reading and supporting me.  I haven't decided for sure how I will go about it.  More than likely, I will do a combination of calorie counting and clean eating.  I'm going to try and eliminate most processed foods, eat more fruits and veggies, etc.  I know how to do it, I just need the strength to do it.  My body always fights me when I diet and my metabolism must have died before I was even born.  It's just super hard for me.  Nevertheless, it won't happen if I don't try.  So, here I am again.

I am not soliciting praise, nor am I pleading for you to write cheers or chants to scream at me daily.  I do ask that if you read my blog regularly,  just comment with your name (at least).  Knowing there are people I will have to answer to will help keep me motivated.  So, please please please take a second and comment with your name.  If I don't feel anyone is reading my results, it will defeat the entire purpose of this attempt.  Also, if you struggle with dieting or anything else you'd like to be held accountable for, I would love to help you, too!  Life is too short to have regrets, so I'm trying once more to make myself proud.

I love you all, friends! Thanks in advance for your encouragement and support!

P.S.  I will weigh in the morning and still reveal the results Wednesday, even though it won't be a full week.  I also have to figure out what to do the 20-27 when I go to the beach.  How do I diet then?  I will have to make a plan...

Sweet, Sweet Summer

I decided early on that my goal for this summer was to slow down enough to actually feel like I'm on vacation.  I typically find something to fill almost every single day during my time off and end up going back to school in the fall not feeling like I've had any rest or days to myself.  I was determined to change that this year and friends, I have been very successful at that thus far.  This entire week I have stayed in my pajamas until mid afternoon, gotten a shower late, and either spent the evening watching my favorite reality television shows or hanging out with friends.  I've done laundry.  I've kept the kitchen clean.  I've cooked dinner.  I've done everything on my own schedule.  It's fabulous!  However, it's about to come to an end for two or three weeks.

I guess it's safe to publicly announce that I will be an aunt again in November!!!  My sis is pregnant with #2 and we find out in just a couple weeks if she's having a boy or girl.  I absolutely cannot wait!  I just hope this little nugget sleeps better than ST and doesn't have colic.  Bless.  And speaking of sweet Sarah Taylor, Mom and I are keeping her for a week beginning Saturday!  Cort and Trey are going to the beach for their five year anniversary.  I'm excited to spend the week with  my little princess and spoil her as much as I can.  She's quite the character these days.....hilarious.

I've also accepted a position at church working with the youth group this summer.  I'm super excited and look forward to what God has in store.  We begin VBS Monday and I'll be leaving in a couple weeks for a week long youth camp.  Gone are the days of pajamas and rest for a while, but it will be well worth it.  I'm hoping God will use the trials I have experienced lately and the battles I've fought against Satan to help some of those sweet kids.  He does work in mysterious ways.

So, until the end of the month, my sitting around in my pajamas watching my favorite daytime talk shows is over.  I welcome the change of pace though.  Cabin fever is starting to set in, so the timing is actually perfect.  

I hope you're all enjoying the sunshine.  Keep praying we have no snake sightings around these parts.  So far so good.  ;)

I Look to You

No-Bake Energy Bites

I'm trying to do this clean eating crap stuff again, so I've been desperately searching for recipes that are all organic and super healthy.  I remembered tasting these a while back when a friend made them, and decided to try them myself.  Surprisingly, they are healthy AND delicious.  I wanted to document for myself, so I hope you enjoy them too.

Ingredients:

1 cup organic, rolled oats
1/2 cup natural peanut butter
1/3 cup honey
1 cup coconut flakes (I didn't have any and I'm not a huge fan of coconut, so I added more oats.)
1/2 cup ground flaxseed
1/2 mini chocolate chips (I may or may not have added a "few" more than that.)
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix all ingredients together.  Refrigerate for half an hour.  Mold into balls and serve.

 

***Several people have asked me what flaxseed is.  It looks almost like poppy seeds when it's ground.  Studies show it reduces the risk of breast cancer, stroke, heart disase, and diabetes.  Some have called it the most powerful plant food on the planet.  :)

Weary

Satan is ruthless.  I have felt him competing for my heart and my mind the past four or five weeks...in a big way.  And I'm weary.  It's been a roller coaster.  I will pray and pray some more, surround myself in God's word, and feel I hear His spirit speak comfort.  It calms me, temporarily.  Then Satan will win again...and the worry/fear/doubt comes back.  It's a constant tug-of-war, and I'm consumed with it.  I confess that I am a very fearful person.  I worry constantly, mostly about my health.  I know on one hand that my fears are very irrational.  Actually, quite ridiculous most of the time.  But on the other hand, Satan's manipulative nature makes my fears seem real.  It's deception at its finest.  On top of battling Satan, I feel guilt for living in a way that is opposite of the faith I profess.  I feel guilty when I don't handle my worries by seeking God's reassurance, but search for it by talking to others.  It's one thing on top of another.  My mind is a battlefield and this soldier is t-i-r-e-d. 

If you've been a long time reader of my blog, you might remember this post.  I wrote about how I feel God rescues me by speaking to me, allowing me to let go of my worries.  Hearing His spirit is the only thing that calms me.  I depend on it.  I search for Him always, in everything.  And he ALWAYS comes through.  If you remember, "ok" has become how I feel God speaks to me.  By seeing those letters coupled together in words during times of trials, by hearing someone say it as soon as I've completed a prayer pleading with God for comfort, or even finding it spray-painted on the concrete beside my driveway.  Oh yes, I did.  He speaks, friends.  And I am so very thankful.

In a moment of desperation this morning, I asked again.  I needed to hear Him.  I pulled in to the school parking lot and the first thing I saw was this...

Amazing, right?  I'm so in love with HOW HE LOVES US!  Satan is still trying to deceive me and say, "That's not what that means, Amy.  This was a coincidence.  That's not God. Even though you've prayed your heart out and God knows how you expect to see Him and in what way you interpret His speaking to you, that's still wrong."  And on, and on, and on.  Such has been my mind all.day.long.  This has to stop.

What I'm coming to realize through this trial is this:

* I HAVE to stay in the word to win my battle.  The only way I'm able to hold my head up daily (and sometimes I don't do it well), is because I've found solace in Him alone.

       
* I can depend on the Holy Spirit to guide me.  I'm just now beginning to realize that the Spirit truly is my comfort and my counselor.  Please don't misunderstand and think I believe God speaks to us in such big, bold ways in every single circumstance we encounter.  But I can promise you one thing...HE DOES SPEAK.  Look for it.  Search for Him.  You will never feel left alone.

     
 * It will pass.  Although this battle has lasted longer than most and I haven't seen a clear end yet, I know I will.  There must be a lesson God wants me to learn.  I am trying to figure out exactly what it is.  Maybe He wanted me to share my story in hopes someone will stumble upon this post needing to hear from Him.  I hope He can use me and my trials to help you.

* I am nothing without Him.  He isn't speaking to me because I've done things right.  He hasn't chosen to reveal His word to because I'm special.  In fact, I feel the opposite. He is coming to me because I'm desperate.  I'm desperate for Him.  And He always delivers.

I would covet your prayers as I continue to fight my battle.  I know each person that reads this (although it may be only two.. :) is fighting a battle, too.  Whether I see it or not or whether it's public or private, it's there.  I'm convinced of that.  Use what I feel God has taught me to help you develop a stronger battle tactic.  Teach me your knowledge, too, because I still need it.

While i write this primarily for my strength and to sort out my thoughts, I hope it comfort someone else.  Let go of all that bothers you, because He cares for you and is longing to give you strength.  Believe that.

Love....