Two Days

     My heart is beating so fast as I begin writing this post.  In just two days...two SHORT days, I will have my home study.  I've been anticipating this day for two months.  I thought by now it would have already come and gone, and I honestly expected to already have a placement by this point in the summer.  The only thought that calms me is reminding myself that this entire process is and has been all about God and His timing.  While I want to rush the process and hurry the social worker in getting here and giving me that license, I know that if God has the "perfect" child for me, I have to sit back and let Him do His work and give His gifts.  It's tough.  The closer I get to welcoming a child into my home, the more nervous I get.  I'm not gonna lie, Satan has been trying his best to yell lies at me and persuade me to believe this is all wrong.  I had a day last week that I sat in a chair and cried for about an hour, wondering if I was crazy for doing this and even considered (only for a minute) calling and telling DHR that I needed to back out for now.  It's crazy what Satan will do and the extremes he will go to in order to tempt me to stray from what I know for sure is God's plan.  Even crazier is the fact that I don't worry about parenting, but I worry about logistics.  I worry mainly about financial stability.  I worry if I'm out of my mind to think I can afford a child.  (Maybe I am...God is gonna have a chance to show out on this one, because boy, am I gonna need His help financially!)  But say it with me, "Religion that our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans"...James 1:27.  This HAS to be the right thing.  If it's on my heart, He will equip me with whatever I need to handle any situation I will encounter in this journey.
     The room is ready.  As I type this, I am looking through the door of my bedroom into the bedroom of my future child.  I dream about laying on the floor in the reading corner that I've so carefully constructed and reading his/her favorite books.  I can't wait to say prayers together before bed and talk to him/her openly about God and His goodness.  I look forward to experiencing the first time this child will grab my hand for comfort or offer a hug.  I absolutely cannot wait to (pending God's plan) give my mom another grandchild and give Sarah Taylor and Finn a cousin.  I want my sister to know the pure joy that is having a niece or nephew.  Will I be buying a Halloween costume this year? And Christmas....CHRISTMAS!!!!  Will I get to (finally) experience wrapping gifts and pretending to be Santa on Christmas Eve this year?  Making cookies for Santa and leaving carrots on the table for the reindeer...I can't take it. What a story of redemption- for me and for this precious child.  I just cannot wait.
     I need your prayers, friends.  There are many, many hurdles awaiting me before I can celebrate an adoption.  I ask you to specifically pray for the timing of everything.  School is starting soon.  I don't know that I can accept a placement during the first couple weeks of school with all the appointments, possible court dates, and ISP meetings that will have to take place upon receiving a child.  It would be super hard to miss school that soon after the new year begins.  I just do not in any way want to thwart God's plan by being selfish, but also want to be realistic and not subject a child to the stress I know I would feel if they were to come to me during that time.  Right now, I'm torn as to what to do.  I just never ever want to wonder if I've gotten in the way of what God has in store.
     I'm taking deep breaths, and I'm continuing to do my best in giving it all to God.  It's exciting to think about the possibility of something so huge, so wonderful, so fulfilling happening in my life in the near future.  It's crazy to wonder if this....if THIS is what my purpose has been all these years.  I'm in awe.  All glory to God.

Love you, friends.

Mom's Hush Puppy Recipe

If I haven't made it known by now, let me take a second and tell you what a phenomenal cook my mom is!  Everything she makes is delicious.  The only problem is that she rarely uses a recipe.  She throws in a little of this and a little of that- and it works.  It always works!  She hasn't made hush puppies in a really long time, but they're a signature dish in her kitchen.  She made them a lot when I was growing up, and I always remember how much I enjoyed them.  I don't know what makes them different than any others, but they're my favorite.  The other day, I asked her to make them so I could watch and learn. We measured the ingredients, and I watched every move she made so I could attempt them later myself.  It was SO much fun.  I can't think of a better teacher.  We both loved being in the kitchen together and agreed we needed to do it again soon.  Next on the list is her meatloaf, blueberry syrup, vinaigrette dressing, hamburger steak, and orange muffins.  I'm telling you, she needs to open a cafe.  (That's my dream- to work and cook in a cute little cafe on the corner...learned something new about me.)

Here's the recipe!

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups corn meal
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup sugar
dash of salt
3/4 onion, diced
1 1/4 cup milk (You do have to eyeball the amount of milk to a certain extent.  You don't want the mixture to be too runny.  Per mom: Once you stir all ingredients together, you want the mixture to stay on the spoon without dripping.  That's how you know you have the right consistency.)

Drop mixture by spoonfuls into oil and fry until golden brown.